A New Day has Began

Today is my last day at work...I have to say my goodbyes...to all those in one way or another have become a part of my life...and my job which has become a part of my past...I also did talk with my boss...I told him that today is my last day...we talked about some matters that I needed to turn-over...I just wanted to show him that I bear no rancor...in my leaving...as a professional ...you must strive that no matter what has happened to you in your job...you can still be professional about the whole thing inspite of your dissagreements...or the "falling out" that has transpired...but its the best thing that has happened for me right now...many lessons were also learned from the experience...inspite of the negativity...now I have a future to look forward to...my search for a new job has just been place another notch or level up...a new day has began...

When a door Closes A new Door Opens

How many times I have heard people say..."When a door closes...a new Door Opens" and the thought again passed thru my mind...A lot of things do come along your way...some are expected and some are not...and sometimes when you really don't expect something...something comes up...I got a call from a company that I did applied for...but that seems like a month before or so...I took the call and she said she wants to interview me...that is on a preliminary basis...of course...that the standard reasons normally given...anyway...its from a call center...they would like to offer me a job as an employee relations officer...a supervisory position...I wasn't really expecting it so I just breeze through the interview which she said would last around twenty minutes...as it turned out it lasted more than that...I told her that I just quit my job...and I'm happy that I'm being considered for a new job...we talked a little bit of the the many experiences that I have had...and I'm sure I did made an impression on her that she will call me back by wednesday next week for another scheduled interview in their office...anyway...I did feel good about it...the incident made me think how soon would I have to get myself a new job...I have not yet even started my planned vacation from work after eight years...and here comes an opportunity...The only thing that went through my mind was...God is watching over me...and he is prime to help me find my miracle...get e back on track...Thank you Lord...

At the end of the Day

The time has come...I have long prepared myself for it...I have also envision it a number of times in my mind...the time to quit my job has arrived... I have proudly resigned from my job...and that I would stay until the end of April 2006...At first I thought I could get another job first before I would quit...but I have seen that... that may not be possible...I could not go and do serious job hunting while I'm still employed...anyway...this is different...Its the first time that in all my working years...losing and giving up my job seems the right thing to do.. I was thinking why do I not feel sorry that I quit my job?...As a matter of fact its like a great big thorn was pulled out of me...its such a relief...That I feel glad That I have been "saved"...I don't feel any bitterness specially for those who may not have agreed with me... This morning when I awoke...I feel so happy and I smiled and thank the lord for having heard my prayers...All the negativity has stop at that instance...the stress...the worries...the angst...the hate...the bitterness...I'm finally set free...A lot of people have told me to put up a fight...take sides...play dirty...boot lick...but I chose to rather not...people also told me that these people have betrayed me and ruined me to the management...again as If instigating me to feel negative about the whole thing...but I have chosen not to...yes its easy to feel vengeful...to feel hate...to feel anger...specially when you have been wronged...but I know that that would only make me bitter... and God would not want me to be like that...For the wrongs that people have done to me...they have to face their own judgement day...as I would also keep my appointments for that day... I am free now...I will face my tomorrows with a new zest for life...I will look forward to be working again for a new company...with new people...with new hopes and dreams...but first...after eight long years of continuous work...I told wifey...I'd like to take a month off before I start looking for a new Job... at the end of the day...good will always triumph over evil...at the end of the day...I will find the hapiness and fullfilment that I seek...at the end of the day...I shall not bear any bitterness or rancor in my heart...at the end of the day...I know that I have tried my very best to help others...and that I have also contributed to the company...but my accomplishments will speak for themselves...there is no need for me to say them because they will stand out on their own...at the end of the day...lies a new beginning...another day will come...a brand new day full of hope for a better life...

Coming To Terms with the World

I really have not yet come to terms on thinking of a strategy on how to start to hunt for a new job…after having just resigned from my work where I did or I have endured one of the most painstaking…heart breaking…heart warming work experiences and …I have toiled for 8 years without a break…being in the business of H.R. work means that I also could not come out from the experience without any emotional wounds…yes I do have them…I have experience going through a labor strike…labor cases…terminations…suspensions…and the likes…and the bittersweet joy of by just being there for employee counseling…listening to their problems…saving people’s jobs by giving them second chances…Hiring and giving people work through gainful employment…the many ups and downs of the H.R. experience…to be caught in between the heat from above and the heat from below …To do your best to be between management and its employees…to serve both the needs of the two sides…like two rocks who are sure to smash against each other…to try to keep the status quo…to be pro-people and be pro-management…the charade that I need to put up when I’m with one of the other sides…I am exhausted…and I am tired and burn out from the experience…and I expect that in time the healing will come soon…but one things for sure…I could never be the same again…the best panacea would be for me to get myself a new job… and I feel that after the end of this month…a lot of my soon to be former colleagues have told me that they would miss me…all that I have done for them…if you have stayed for eight good years with these people they have become your family…a lot of hurt will be there…but I told them there will always be life after me…we all will someday go on our separate ways…that our lives and families have come together in some point in time will bring the happy memories back…our lives will have to continue…I fill face new things….my decision to create these changes my life… and to embark into something that is a mystery on its own…this is my new quest… I will soon find out the effects of the life changing decisions …that I have made…Coming to terms with the world will ...I am for sure that ...all of these will be for the better…because I have place my faith in God and He will lead the way…

A Dead Horse I have become...

We all have been in one way or another contemplated our real purpose in life…we are quite awe struck by the noblest of objectives and goals that we may have set for ourselves…the ideals that we treasure and value in our hearts…but what is left to the man who has his purpose in life drawn and taken away from him…to me that would mean “Slow Death”…you are already dead without even knowing it…that’s how important it is to have a purpose in life…I have lost my purpose at my job and the company that I have worked for quite a number of years…Sometimes I feel that I am just cruising along the days and weeks till the next pay check…Yes it does bring food to the table…but that is all…that remains of my purpose…to lose your enthusiasm and motivation on your job is the most dreaded situation that I have come to realize…the pressure and the stress that it carries with it is tremendous…It gets harder each day to rise up and go to work…I have lost my zest not because I have chosen to…but rather I was compelled to lose my love and passion for the firm that I worked work and my job because of the burn out…cause by the situation and learned helplessness brought upon me…when your projects or goals are not supported...when management has abandones you and left you to your own devices....when there are colleagues who mean you no good but harm…when there are such people who can do nothing better in their lives but to criticize…to destroy reputations as sycophants are best at…to utterly believe that by eating their own shit...they have started to believe their own shit...thinking that they are better than others as if they have the monopoly on the possession of grey matter…and for management to just look the other way…to be deceptively allowing such things to happen...to let harmony deteriorate...and be blinded by its own flaws… then I could compare myself to a dead horse…no matter how much you whip it for it to move forward…it doesn’t move anymore…the horse has lost its purpose…the horse has decided that it could choose not to go forward…the horse doesn’t understand why it has to move forward and sees there’s no way out…when he could not see the road ahead…the horse when taken to a well to drink and was whip by the driver to drink but the horse refused to do so because he was not thirsty…He was given hay to eat but refused to do so...because he was not hungry…the horse had decided that it is better to die rather than be led to nowhere…having lost the purpose of its existence... to go on for no purpose at all…because the problem is the driver…He just doesn’t know or couldn’t care less about the condition of the horse…all he knows is for the horse to move you have to whip it!!! He just doesn’t know that the horse is already dead…and no amount of whipping will bring it back...

Sorry Point

As we go through our daily lives we cannot help but interact with people...with family...with friends...with colleagues...because our world is a social world...we live with other people...and share our paths with them one way or the other and sometimes bump against each other along the way...with the people closest to our hearts are of course our family...folowed by friends...again with family...there's no way we can choose them...their is no such option...with friends...of course we have such liberty in choosing them...at work with our collegues...again there's not much choice...if you can't get along with the rest of the guys...the doors are wide open for you to get another job with another company...but the thing is ...it is seldom that we get a world that would adjust to our personal needs or perfectly molded for our selves...which is why we still need to do our part in the process...as we grow and develop our social selves...many people take part in the process...our parents...our teachers...our classmates...our friends...etc...and along the way...we exposed our immaturities when we were young...the frailties of our personalities...our learned responses whether good or bad...and at times we could not control the situation or ourselves that we make a lot of mistakes...we hurt a lot of people...we feel that we are correct and righteous when we are not...we couldn't careless of what others may think as long as we follow what our selfish wants...we burn a lot of people and bridges in the process...but we will always reach the sorry point....I could not count the many times that my pride has taken over me...the fact that we don't want to admit our faults or mistakes...cannot hide themselves from us when we reach the sorry point...the sorry point is the realization that we come to our own confessionals and realize our misgivings...and to accept ourselves and our frailties...so that we can do something to change them or minimize them or control them...if one does not realize it...and just be callous about it because of pride...you miss the point...the sorry point...

Another Hot Weekend Ahead!!!

Summers really Here and its really hot during the day time...the airconditioning is always turned on and expectedly the electric bill is going to go up. I'm drinking more water...taking in more cold drinks...with ice...and my voice is getting to be affected by the cold drinks that I take...The smell of earth is rising each time we have rains during the evenings...During summers I would arrive early at the office because of the lesser traffic brought about by less cars on the road because there's no school for a lot of kids...but what's worse is the concrete and asphalt roads...they seem to be multiplying the heat of the sun when you are out on the streets...you can actually feel your skin burning...and if you do go to the beach...its not only a tan that you're gonna get but a good sub burn is up for grabs...The tropical Heat as they say is the cause of the Filipino's indolence...as explain by the spanish friars...because we would rather stay indoors...and take a nap...but our weather is one thing...and our attitude is another thing...I guess its really our laid back attitude as Filipinos is the cause of the indolence...the slow pace we take things in a stride...and the way life in the provinces seems to take a slower life of their own...compared with the urban and suburban life of the cities...the concept of time in both circumstances are truly ambivalent...and could not be compared...city life will always be city life...malls...movies...etc... but in the provinces its the town dance...its the visits we may to our neighbors...that would last from an initial ten minutes to the whole afternoon...the concept of time is utterly forgotten...

The Pretenders 2 (Awakening)

It would have been better for a lot of people to realize that it is futile to tell the bossess about the obnoxious pretenders...why? because if you do so...the bossess would not believe you...they would merely say that you are just sour griping...you are just back biting...or you are just jealous of them...I have been called upon not just one time but more or less more than 50 times to do exactly just that...to tell and report to the bossess about the pretenders...but I vehemently refuse to do so...They told that now is the time for all the rest of the people to join up and gang up on the pretenders...but no matter what type of prodding they have done to recruit me...I have told them my decision not to do so...I told them that it is a gangantuan task... for you could not wake somebody up who is not asleep... or let somebody see something that he refuses to see...or a person who is blind when there's nothing wrong with his eyes...I know that it is not true that the bossess are not wise enough to make a realization of what the pretenders are doing...because the bossess themselves are a big part of the problem...these pretenders are doing his bidding...the bossess are using the pretenders...and the pretenders are using the bossess...it just falls short of my expectations for somebody like the bossess in his right mind would not be righteous enough to know what's right or wrong...because they are the problem...when the bossess will start to think that they can do anything they wish to their people...they are dead wrong...when the leevee will break is just a matter of time...and that I also do not believe that the bossess are not aware of this things...for all i know these problems are all of their making....I cannot in violation of my own personal principles that If I will do just what the pretenders are doing would not matter anymore...if the situation escalates..I know I should do something to prevent a confrontation ...but I have grown to be callous now and apathethic if that will happened...because that is their own death wish...and i'm sure that will happen ...maybe not now or in the near future...but rest assured that will happen and there's no one to blame but management and the bossess... and his minions...the pretenders...because if you play with fire...you get burn...

Things Are Not Always Black or White

(This is another story picked up from the net)

When I was in elementary school, I got into a major argument with a boy in my class. I have forgotten what the argument was about, but I have never forgotten the lesson I learned that day.

I was convinced that 'I' was right and 'he' was wrong - and he was just as convinced that 'I' was wrong and 'he' was right. The teacher decided to teach us a very important lesson. She brought us up to the front of the class and placed him on one side of her desk and me on the other. In the middle of her desk was a large, round object. I could clearly see that it was black. She asked the boy what color the object was. "White," he answered. I couldn't believe he said the object was white, when it was obviously black! Another argument started between my classmate and me, this time about the color of the object.

The teacher told me to go stand where the boy was standing and told him to come stand where I had been. We changed places, and now she asked me what the color of the object was. I had to answer, "White." It was an object with two differently colored sides, and from his viewpoint it was white. Only from my side was it black. My teacher taught me a very important lesson that day: You must stand in the other person's shoes and look at the situation through their eyes in order to truly understand their perspective.

The Pretenders

There are these people in the company that I work for who have no other thoughts than to further themselves or their own agenda by boot licking the bossess or management of the company. They convince the bosses to promote themselves to “managerial” positions when it is obvious that they still lack the knowledge, experience, & skill for the job. Their only edge is that they cuddle up to the Boss and eat, drink, laugh & play by spending their time as hanger ons with the bosses . Their thick skins on their skulls precedes their qualifications.

Clearly they are sycophants out to basically destroy the lives and income of those who do not join their ranks or promote their agenda, people who do not surrender to their control or just those who do not take their “side”, they do not like those people that they cannot manipulate because they are perceived threats to their existence. They can no longer balance their thoughts and decisions because they have been overly zealous and die-hard company yes people that they can no longer see through things to have a better perception of matters, they only look at one side...thats the company side...and could not care less about the rest...only to show to the bossess how they "Care" for the company.

These people are really talking people down and talking themselves up to the bosses. They are no other but bullies in every sense of the word…they have the Jekyll & Hyde nature - vicious and vindictive in private, but innocent and charming in front of witnesses; no-one can (or wants to) believe this individual has a vindictive nature.

They are convincing, conniving, and compulsive liar and when called to account, will make up anything spontaneously to fit their needs at that moment. They manifest lots of charm and is always plausible and convincing when peers, superiors or others are present; the motive of the charm is deception and its purpose is to compensate for lack of empathy.

They depend on mimicry to convince others that they are a "normal" human being but their words, writing and deeds are hollow, superficial and glib. They displays a great deal of certitude and self-assuredness to mask their insecurity when they talk they are always speaking of what I have done, I was able to do that before, I can handle that, etc.

They are control freaks and they constantly displays a compulsive need to criticize whilst simultaneously refusing to acknowledge, value and praise others.(Always showing that they are better than others or that they know everything)

They often have an overwhelming, unhealthy and narcissistic need to portray themselves as a wonderful, kind, caring and compassionate person, in contrast to their treatment of others; the bully is oblivious to the discrepancy between how they like to be seen (and believe they are seen), and how they are actually seen.

They have an overbearing belief in their qualities of leadership but cannot distinguish between leadership (maturity, decisiveness, assertiveness, trust and integrity) and bullying (immaturity, impulsiveness, aggression, distrust and deceitfulness)

When they are called to account, immediately and aggressively denies everything, then counter-attacks with distorted or fabricated criticisms and allegations.

They are overly aggressive, devious, manipulative, spiteful, vengeful, doesn't listen, lacks a conscience, shows no remorse, is drawn to power, emotionally cold and flat, ungrateful, disruptive, divisive, rigid and inflexible, selfish, insincere, insecure, and immature. Most people in the company have already identified "them" and they are on the top of the list of the most hated people in the organization.

Personally they are despicable people…Sometimes I am tempted to join the hate-bandwagon, to wish them ill, to castigate, to do what they themselves are doing and to do such things to them, to go to war with these people…but I’d be no better than what they are and have become…poor souls…they don’t know it but they are already dead…On the other hand…I could also blame the bosses for not seeing the deceptions around them and because they have been blinded by people singing all praise to them…thinking that they are small gods in themselves and that they could do practically what they want with people’s lives and feelings…shame on them…shame on their lot…I pray that someday they will realize the hurt and disappointment that they have cause to others…or if not be at the receiving end of their own deeds…and feel what it "feels like" to be bullied...

Nice Take on Money & Being Happy

Money and being happy By Melanie T. Lim

I HAVE yet to meet a person who does not aspire to be happy. But we take different roads to find happiness. Many of us believe the amount of money we amass during our lifetime will be directly proportional to the amount of happiness we find.

Why, after all, would we work so hard each day, for more and more money if not for the fact that we believe more money will bring us greater happiness? And yet the fact remains that if money were the true barometer for happiness, we would not be able to find a single happy person among the poor and a single unhappy person among the rich.

Money can buy us a comfortable life but it can’t buy us love or loyalty. Money can buy us a new face or body but it can’t bring a lover back. Money can buy us the wedding of the decade but it can’t give us a great marriage. Money can rid us of a lot of pain, discomfort and inconvenience but it can’t rid us of guilt, anger and heartbreak. Money can solve a lot of problems but it can’t give us peace, meaning, contentment.

The reality is that some of the happiest people in the world are not the richest and some of the richest people in the world are not the happiest.

The moral of the story is not that we shouldn’t aspire to be rich—but that we should understand that becoming rich will not necessarily make us happy. In greater likelihood, more money will only make us worry more and worse, want more.

It is not wrong to want a comfortable life. But it is wrong to lead an extravagant one when so many others wallow in extreme poverty. It is not wrong to want more money. But it is wrong to be consumed by it. It is not wrong to aspire for more in life. But it is wrong to acquire more in life and not do more for those who have so much less.

Most of us tend to see money simply as a means to buy material possessions we believe can ultimately make us happy. But how many houses, cars, vacations, golf clubs, gym memberships, clothes, bags and shoes will we have to buy to find the happiness we seek?

What many of us fail to understand is that the “real value” of money does not lie in the material possessions it can buy us. The real value of money lies in the choices it can bring us.

Happiness is not determined by the amount of money we amass in our lifetime. Happiness is determined by the wisdom of the decisions we make with the money we amass in our lifetime. We can choose to be remembered for our money. But we can also choose to be remembered for what we chose to do with our money. Ultimately, it’s not “how much we have” but “what we do with what we have” that will make us happy.

Renewed Life

Lent and the Holyweek has gone and passed us by...No matter how much we try to prolong the days of no work..no school...no office...no worries...alas...its Easter Sunday already...and we all have to go back to our "normal" selves again...by Monday ...but I would rather not put that inside my head yet...I would rather gather the thoughts that I have going through Lent...and it all comes down to the promise of a new life which is of importance... the story of the resurrection...which has always been in this planet's culture...from the egyptian to the inca's civilization...for me resurrection will always be here in our hearts...you don't have to die as a precondition to resurrection...through all the pain, trials amd tribulations, and hardships that we will be going through in life...the promise of another chance by being resurrected gives us the hope that we need to cope up with our difficulties...to give us the will to live a Renewed Life and a Renewed Vigor to go after our dreams and ideals...to adapt to the changes and challenges that the world will bestow upon us...a resurrected hope, future, and love for life...

Holy Week

A BRIEF SUMMARY ABOUT HOLY WEEK Rev. Fr. Joseph C. Joseph

Holy Week starts on Palm Sunday and ends on Easter Sunday. This is the last week of the traditional fifty-day Lent. Through lent, sermons, prayers, and services, the church prepares the faithful for Holy Week. This is the time we celebrate five important events in the mission of our Lord Jesus Christ. During Holy Week, certain changes occur in the prayers and in the Holy Qurbana. The differences include the beginning prayer "kauma" (devamme nee parishuthan akunnu) which changes to a different "kauma" for each day, according to the events that occurred. Other significant differences include: No prayers to Mary (Virgin Mary Full of Grace/Krupa Niranya Mariam), there is no peace giving in the Holy Qurbana, and there is no kissing of the hands (Kai Muthu) of the Bishop or priest conducting the services. (The faithful believers kiss the hand of the priest or bishop is to receive blessings. This is a tradition of the Syrian Orthodox Church and most of the Eastern Orthodox Churches. Priests and bishops are considered the messenger (Malachi 2: 7) of God and during the Eucharistic Service they touch the body and blood of Christ. It is considered a blessing to kiss the hands, which handled the holy mysteries.)

1. Palm Sunday

Palm Sunday is the day Jesus Christ entered in to the city of Jerusalem as the Messiah, the King of Israel. The people received news that Jesus was coming to Jerusalem for the feast of the great Passover and they went to see Him. Perhaps, they heard good things about Jesus, because He was associated with everyone, regardless of their wealth and status. He performed many miracles including the raising of Lazarus from the tomb after four days of his death. When the people saw him riding on a donkey into the city, they were filled with joy (believing that He would rescue them from the current rein of the king). The Holy Spirit embraced them and they Proclaimed, “Hosanna” (praise to the Lord), with branches from olive trees and palm leaves. They received Him as the King of Israel, the Messiah, and the one the people had eagerly been waiting for to redeem them from the rulers. They had anticipated Him to establish a New Kingdom in Jerusalem. Even with the objections of the high priests and the elders of Israel, the people welcomed Jesus with open arms. This was the fulfillment of the Prophesy made by the Prophet Zechariah (Zechariah 9:9). Matthew 21:1-11, Mark 11:1-10, Luke 19:28-40, and John 12:12-17.

We commemorate this day in the church with special services. The people of the church participate in a procession, while holding palm leaves. The ceremony includes blessing the palm leaves and requesting the faithful to hold the palm leaves until the conclusion of the Holy Qurbana. These events symbolize our readiness and eagerness to receive our Lord Jesus Christ in the Second Coming. Our hearts and spirit should be as enthusiastic and prepared to receive Jesus, just as the people of Jerusalem during the first Palm Sunday.

2. The Last Supper

During Holy Week we celebrate the establishment of the Holy Eucharist (The Holy Qurbana). This day is commonly known as the Last Supper, because Jesus had his Last Supper with his disciples on Wednesday during the Holy Week. The Orthodox Church gives the most importance to this day, as it is a new beginning of a new covenant. Jesus Christ celebrated the great Passover with the old tradition of the killing of the lamb, which was started from the last day of the captivity of Israel in Egypt, by the commandment of God through Moses (Exodus 12:1-12). Jesus and the disciples celebrated the traditional Passover and started the New Covenant with bread and wine, which transformed to the body and blood of our Lord Jesus Christ. The old covenant ended with the blood of lamb and the new covenant began with the blood of Christ.

The day before the great feast of Passover, Jesus asked his disciples to prepare the Passover feast and they did just as He requested. Jesus celebrated the feast with his disciples the traditional way, except they used the leavened bread instead of the unleavened bread because He celebrated a day earlier than the real Passover. (According to the Passover tradition, any bread made before the actual day of Passover must be the leavened bread. This is the Orthodox Faith). During this supper, Jesus took the bread, blessed (consecrated) and said, “this is my Body eat of it”, likewise He took the Cup (wine) blessed (consecrated) and gave it to them, and said “ drink of it, this is my blood, which is shed for many for the remission of sins and eternal life”. He asked them to do this in remembrance of Him until His Second Coming. Matthew 26:26-28, Mark 14:22-25, Luke 22:19-21, 1 Corinthians 11: 23-26.

Jesus Christ instituted the first Eucharist in the upper room of the house of St. Mark. For the Holy Qurbana, in our church we are using specially leavened wheat bread made with a special seal with thirteen crosses on it. Twelve of the crosses are small and one large cross, resembling Jesus Christ and His twelve apostles. Priests or deacons freshly make the bread on the same day of the service. We believe the consecrated bread and wine (the holy mysteries) are the body and blood of Christ not the resemblance as believed in many other churches. The faithful should not receive the Holy Mysteries without proper preparation, dedication, self-examination, and confession. (1 Corinthians 11:27). Also on this day, Jesus went to the garden of Gethsemane (Mount of Olives) to praying to God the Father, to strengthen Him to face the troublesome events that would take place moments later (Matthew 26:30-46, Mark 14:32-42, Luke 22: 39-46). He also asked the apostles to be awake and to pray to not enter into temptation (Matthew 26:41, Mark 14:38, Luke 22: 40, 46). This event reminds us of the importance of prayer in our lives. It is very important that we pray to God. Prayer is a link, which connects us to God. The other importance is Jesus washing the feet of the apostles to teach humbleness to the world. In the Orthodox Church if a bishop is present he performs the service of washing the feet on the evening of Thursday. The Bishop washes the feet of twelve priests, deacons, or men, to show the importance of being humble and loving one another. A Christian must remember that those that are humble will be exalted in the Kingdom of God.

3. Good Friday.

Good Friday is another important day during Holy Week. The Orthodox Church gives much importance to the day. In our church we have the longest services for Good Friday commemorating Jesus’ suffering and struggle endured on this day. We call this day "dukkavelliazha" (sad Friday) in Malayalam. Why is it a Good Friday in English and a sad Friday in Malayalam?

Jesus came to the world to provide salvation and remission of sins to mankind with His blood. He came down as the Lamb of God, and bore the sins of the world by sacrificing himself in Calvary (John 1:27, 36) for the sins of the world. He fulfilled the prophecies and gave His life on the cross on that Friday to bring back Adam and his children to Paradise. We receive the salvation through the sacrifice of Christ, which is why it is regarded as a Good Friday. We are sad because our sins are the cause of the death of our Lord. The reason it is referred to as a sad Friday is because we observe the loss of a son, brother, and friend through the sadness and tears shed by the mother of Jesus Christ, the disciples, and other who were close to Him.

The participation in Good Friday service reminds us of the pain, sufferings, and abuse endured by Jesus, the death on the cross, and the burial in the tomb by Joseph of Arimathea and Nicodemus. The bible readings, hymns, church doctrines, and the two processions (the first one remembering the journey of Christ carrying the heavy cross to Calvary, and second is to remind us of Joseph of Arimathea and Nicodemus carrying the body of Christ to be buried in the tomb) gives us the opportunity to see how much our Lord Jesus Christ suffered for us and allows the sinners to ask for forgiveness. The kneeling during Holy Week is for us to be humble and kiss our Lord's feet for all He has done for us. At the end of the service, the faithful drink a bitter substance (kaippu neeru) in memory of the sour wine that was given to Jesus Christ on the cross (Mathew 27:48, Mark 15:36, Luke 23:36, John 19:29). The four gospel writers, Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John give much importance for the events that took place on Good Friday. The salvation we receive through the crucifixion of Christ on Good Friday makes it one of the most important days of an Orthodox Christian’s life.

4. Holy Saturday (memorial day for all the faithful departed ones)

The Saturday of Holy Week is called "dukka saniarcha" in Malayalam. The Saturday after Good Friday our church remembers all the faithful departed people and especially remembers them in the holy Qurbana, and the church has special prayers for the departed ones with burned incense. Our Churches in Kerala, India have the tradition of going to the cemetery after the Holy Qurbana to pray for all the buried ones with the family members who are present in the church. We give the names of our departed ones to the priest to remember them especially in Holy Qurbana on their actual memorial day (date of their death) and two common memorial days which are acknowledged by our church. One is on the Sunday before the fifty-day lent and the other one is "dukka saniarcha".

We believe that from the cross Jesus went down to Hell to bring back all souls of his people (Beginning with Adam all the way to the thief on the cross of his right side at crucifixion) to Paradise. Adam broke His commandment and brought sin and spiritual death to the world. Jesus Christ came down as a man and took all the punishment for the sins that began with Adam. Adam ate the fruit in the Garden of Eden, just as the sour wine given to Christ to drink as punishment. Adam disobeyed God causing Christ to endure beatings and sufferings. Adam was naked in Eden and they hung Christ naked (often a loincloth is seen on paintings and pictures of the crucifixion) on the cross. The blood shed by Jesus washed away the sins of Adam and the world. Christ was able to bring back His inheritance to Eden's Paradise. It was not a coincident that the cross of our Lord was placed on top of the tomb of Adam. The blood of Christ fell on the same ground where Adam was buried. This was the redemption God promised to Adam before he was cast out of Paradise.

5. Easter Sunday

"I am the resurrection and the life" (John 11:25). Easter is the most important and happy occasion for a Christian's life. Due to His resurrection on Sunday it is considered a holy day for the Christians, not the seventh day (Saturday) which was the Sabbath according the Law of Moses. The resurrection of Christ from His death was the fulfillment of the prophecies and the completion of His mission on earth. Jesus Christ rose from the dead and destroyed spiritual death, which had previously dominated the earth since the sin of Adam in the Garden of Eden. Christ wins over death and provides eternal life to all of His believers. After Christ’s resurrection, He appeared ten times to His followers. He was in the world for forty days then accented to heaven. The message of Easter is Peace, the heavenly tranquility that is granted to the world by Jesus.

Christianity is very different from the other religions of the world. In no other religion is there any mention of the founders, messengers, or gods resurrecting from their death. Christ's resurrection denotes the significant difference and constitutes its remarkableness and preservation over the centuries. Christianity is not a religion but it is a way of life. We as faithful Christian believers must observe Christ’s teachings and commandments. We must set an example for others to follow. We must not merely proclaim our title as Christians, but it is crucial to live in a manner that expresses the true meaning and value of Christianity. If one can see our life and proclaim us as Christians from our daily life, then in fact we are the quintessence of Christianity.

We celebrate Easter with special services in the church such as special songs, a red cloth, which is placed on the cross (the red color symbolizes the cloth worn by Jesus after the resurrection (Isaiah 63: 1-2). Also during Easter, a procession commemorates Jesus’ journey to Galilee, immediately after His resurrection (Mark 16: 7).

When we celebrate Holy Week, we prepare ourselves, and attempt to live in holiness through prayers, meditation, confession, and receiving the Holy Qurbana. We must be willing to do whatever it takes to participate and endure the sufferings and resurrection of our Lord Jesus Christ. As an Orthodox Christian believer, we must receive Jesus in our hearts and graciously appreciate the blessings and the salvation He has bestowed on us.

I wish everyone a blessed Holy Week. May God bless you.

Reflections For Lent

Its the last day at work today...everybody busy planning to go somewhere for the long weekend of lent...a lot of people are heading for the beaches...boracay...camiguin...puerto galera...mactan...nalusuan island...panglao...its vacation season this summer...well lent has evolve into something new...a time to take a break from work...study or whatever have you been doing...somehow in the process it has lost its true meaning of Lent for some people..it has become a time of enjoyment and celebration of life....I am not saying that everyboby should be pious about the whole thing...but culture has totally change the whole perception of things and events...During these times...the traditional way of celebrating Lent may have come to pass although there are still ways and means of celebrating lent...the way of the cross...the confession ...the visitation of the church...the re-enactment of the passion and suffering of Jesus...some events have already become a tourist attraction and have been developed as an activity for the purpose of being that...a tourist attraction...a festival or sort of well what could we do..its good for business....Lent has always been a time for contemplation and reflections...a time where we as christians go to religious retreats or seminars...to take a review or self inventory of ourselves...to compare our trials and difficulties with the sacrifices that Jesus had to make...To celebrate the true meaning of how He Died..he has risen...and the fulfillment of his promise to come back again...for all to have everlasting life with him in heaven...these are the core beliefs of our religion...some will celebrate it the way they see it...as a vacation...as a religious passage...or as a simple discernment of their lives...in celebration of Life...It is not for us to judge how to celebrate it...through all the confusion of our culture...for me it will always be my personal relationship with God that counts...

The $20 Dollar Question

A well-known speaker started off his seminar by holding up a $20.00 bill. In the room of 200, he asked, "Who would like this $20 bill?" Hands started going up. He said, "I am going to give this $20 to one of you but first, let me do this.

He proceeded to crumple the $20 dollar bill up. He then asked, "Who still wants it?" Still the hands were up in the air. "Well," he replied, "What if I do this?" And he dropped it on the ground and started to grind it into the floor with his shoe. He picked it up, now crumpled and dirty. "Now, who still wants it?" Still the hands went into the air.

"My friends, we have all learned a very valuable lesson. No matter what I did to the money, you still wanted it because it did not decrease in value. It was still worth $20."

Many times in our lives, we are dropped, crumpled, and ground into the dirt by the decisions we make and the circumstances that come our way. We feel as though we are worthless.

But no matter what has happened or what will happen, you will never lose your value. Dirty or clean, crumpled or finely creased, you are still priceless to those who DO LOVE you.

God loves you. The worth of our lives comes not in what we do or who we know, but by WHO WE ARE. You are God's creation. You are special - Don't EVER forget it."

HOW WE FIND GOD

John Powell, a professor at Loyola University in Chicago writes about a student in his Theology of Faith class named Tommy: "Some twelve years ago, I stood watching my university students file into the classroom for our first session in the Theology of Faith. That was the day I first saw Tommy. My eyes and my mind both blinked. He was combing his long flaxen hair, which hung six inches below his shoulders. It was the first time I had ever seen a boy with hair that long. I guess it was just coming into fashion then. I know in my mind that it isn't what's on your head but what's in it that counts; but on that day I was unprepared and my emotions flipped. I immediately filed Tommy under "S" for strange....very strange.

Tommy turned out to be the "atheist in residence" in my Theology of Faith course. He constantly objected to, smirked at, or whined about the possibility of an unconditionally loving Father/God. We lived with each other in relative peace for one semester, although I admit he was for me at times a serious pain in the back pew. When he came up at the end of the course to turn in his final exam, he asked in a slightly cynical tone,

"Do you think I'll ever find God?" I decided instantly on a little shock therapy. "No!" I said very emphatically. "Oh," he responded, "I thought that was the product you were pushing." I let him get five steps from the classroom door and then called out, "Tommy! I don't think you'll ever find Him, but I am absolutely certain that
He will find you!" He shrugged a little and left my class and my life. I felt slightly disappointed at the thought that he had missed my clever line

--- He will find you! At least I thought it was clever. Later I heard that Tommy had graduated and I was duly grateful. Then a sad report came. I hear d that Tommy had terminal cancer. Before I could search him out, he came to see me. When he walked into my office, his body was very badly wasted and the long hair had all fallen out as a result of chemotherapy. But his eyes were bright and his voice was firm, for the first time, I believe. "Tommy, I've thought about you so often. I hear you are sick," I blurted out. "Oh, yes, very sick. I have cancer in both lungs. It's a matter of weeks."

"Can you talk about it, Tom?" I asked. "Sure, what would you like to know?" he replied. "What's it like to be only twenty-four and dying?" "Well, it could be worse." "Like what?" "Well, like being fifty and having no values or ideals, like being fifty and thinking that booze, seducing women, and making money are the real 'biggies' in life."

I began to look through my mental file cabinet under 'S' where I had Filed Tommy as strange. (It seems as though everybody I try to reject by classification, God sends back into my life to educate me.) "But what I really came to see you about," Tom said, "is something you said to me on the last day of class." (He remembered!) He continued, "I asked you if you thought I would ever find God and you said, 'No!' which surprised me. Then you said, 'But He will find you.' I thought about that a lot, even though my search for God was hardly intense at that time.(My clever line. He thought about that a lot!)

"But when the doctors removed a lump from my groin and told me that it was malignant, that's when I got serious about locating God. And when the malignancy spread into my vital organs, I really began banging bloody fists against the bronze doors of heaven. But God did not come out. In fact, nothing happened. Did you ever try anything for a long time with great effort and with no success? You get psychologically glutted, fed up with trying. And then you quit. Well , one day I woke up, and instead of throwing a few more futile appeals over that high brick wall to a God who may be or may not be there, I just quit. I decided that I didn't really care about God, about an after life, or anything like that. I decided to spend what time I had left doing something more profitable.

I thought about you and your class and I remembered something else you had said: 'The essential sadness is to go through life without loving. But it would be almost equally sad to go through life and leave this world without ever telling those you loved that you had loved them.'"

"So, I began with the hardest one, my Dad. He was reading the newspaper when I approached him." "Dad." "Yes, what?" he asked without lowering the newspaper. "Dad, I would like to talk with you." "Well, talk." "I mean . . . It's really important." The newspaper came down three slow inches. "What is it?" "Dad, I love you. I just wanted you to know that."

Tom smiled at me and said it with obvious satisfaction, as though he felt a warm and secret joy flowing inside of him. "The newspaper fluttered to the floor. Then my father did two things I could never remember him ever doing before. He cried and he hugged me. We talked all night, even though he had to go to work the next morning. It felt so good to be close to my father, to see his tears, to feel his hug, to hear him say that he loved me." "It was easier with my mother and little brother. They cried with me, too, and we hugged each other, and started saying real nice things to each other. We shared the things we had been keeping secret for so many years. I was only sorry about one thing --- that I had waited so long. Here I was, just beginning to open up to all the people I had actually been close to."

"Then, one day I turned around and God was there. He didn't come to me when I pleaded with H im. I guess I was like an animal trainer holding out a hoop, 'C'mon, jump through. C'mon, I'll give You three days, three weeks.' Apparently God does things in His own way and at His own hour. But the important thing is that He was there. He found me. You were right. He found me even after I stopped looking for Him."

"Tommy," I practically gasped, "I think you are saying something very important and much more universal than you realize. To me, at least, you are saying that the surest way to find God is not to make Him a private possession, a problem solver, or an instant consolation in time of need, but rather by opening to love. You know, the Apostle John said that. He said: 'God is love, and anyone who lives in love is living with God and God is living in him.'

Tom, could I ask you a favor? You know, when I had you in class you were a real pain. But (laughingly) you can make it all up to me now. Would you come into my present Theology of Faith course and tell them what you have just told me? If I told them the same thing it wouldn't be half as effective as if you were to tell them." "Ooh ..... I was ready for you, but I don't know if I'm ready for your class." "Tom, think about it. If and when you are ready, give me a call."

In a few days Tom called, said he was ready for the class, that he wanted to do that for God and for me. So we scheduled a date. However, he never made it. He had another appointment, far more important than the one with me and my class. Of course, his life was not really ended by his death, only changed. He made the great step from faith into vision. He found a life far more beautiful than the eye of man has ever seen or the ear of man has ever heard or the mind of man has ever imagined. Before he died, we talked one last time. "I'm not going to make it to your class," he said. "I know, Tom." "Will you tell them for me? W ill you . . . tell the whole world for me?" "I will, Tom. I'll tell them. I'll do my best." So, to all of you who have been kind enough to hear this simple
statement about love, thank you for listening. And to you, Tommy, somewhere in the sunlit, verdant hills of heaven --- I told them, Tommy, as best I could.

With thanks, John Powell, Professor / Loyola University in Chicago

Looks can really be deceiving!!!

The Lenten Season brings about thoughts on the passion and suffering of Christ at the hands of his own people...During Palm Sunday he was met by a crowd welcoming his arrival in Jerusalem after hearing all of those good things said about him and the good deeds that preceeded his coming...anybody or nobody would have ever thought that during those times that these same people will shout and cheer for his death with impunity...this is how looks can really be deceiving...you are made to believe that you will have all those people around you in your triumphant ways and great joy of tidings and good will will surround you...but such people will abandon you in your not so shining moments in your life and Sometimes a lot of people would like to make a travesty of themselves...by making you believe that they are your friends but in fact they know very well of their own opportunistic kinds...people who are living a lie to others who are only up to no good but to propagate their own agenda and that their own dishonesty could someday haunt them back...one has to be more careful with such kind of people...they hide and disguise themselves quite well...but one always has no choice but to put one's trust in other people...and otherwise...taking the risk of having people take advantage of your relationships with them....but it all boils down to the sacrifice one has to take for such malevolent people...with the hope that they will not turn their backs on you or if possible change such people to be more aware of the needs of others and place your trust on them believing that people are inherently good...

Is it Fate?Destiny?Pure Luck?Chances Are?

Fate" is the "consequence" ("what follows in sequence") of our own past choices. Our "Future" is the consequence of our present choices. We will always have Free Will to make our own choices in life but we should be mindful that with this freedom comes a responsibility to live with the consequences.

I have often times heard that Character is Destiny - which means that your own character or characteristics of your personality that you were born with and what your environment and influences (school, parents, culture, upbringing, social and economic status) has molded you through your choices in life) is what influences the choices you make - and thus determines the consequences they lead to.

To believe that there is a fixed natural order in the universe that has been pre-designed for us is easier to believe when we speak of fate and destiny...but the whole gamut of our human experiences would show the chaos of choices that we are in and the various factors that affects us when we do make choices.

Here are some of these phrases that have caught my attention and needs some thinking to have clarity at hand:

1) THE RIGHT PLACE AT THE RIGHT TIME is supposed to mean to be where one can take advantage of some opportunity which is largely a matter of luck or chance, and not always because of any great skill or knowledge of what to do or when to do it, although the person involved may be very good and talented at their work.

2) To be in THE WRONG PLACE AT THE RIGHT TIME means to be where one can’t take advantage of some opportunity because of unfortunate timing or worse, one has actually put oneself in jeopardy because of bad timing either due to bad choices or bad luck.

3) To be in THE RIGHT PLACE AT THE WRONG TIME again means to be where one can’t take advantage of some opportunity or have again actually put oneself in some jeopardy, either because of bad luck or because, although the place or positioning is right, the timing is bad.

4) To be in THE WRONG PLACE AT THE WRONG TIME means, usually through no particular fault of your own, you are an unfortunate loser and are shit out of luck because the stars weren’t properly aligned!

At the End of the Rope...

What are you supposed to do when you are at the end of the rope???You are losing your grip...your arms are aching...no matter how much you try to hold on...your own weight and gravity is pulling you down... It could be that chances are you have painted yourself in the corner with nowhere else to go (you took risks at your own behest)...or certain circumstances has happened in your life that conspired with fate to bring you to the edge of the abyss??? (things that are beyond your control)but reality is that you could either let go and be free of the suffering of holding on and fall from where you were dangling or just be unmindful to your fate and leave it to somebody or something to catch you or break your fall...but eventually you will have to fall because there's nowhere else to go...you also just can't hold on that long when you have come to the end of the rope...it is during these difficult times that we are force to make decisions...It would have been a forlorn and mitigating decision had we let somebody else do the deciding for us...that is easier and put the blame on them...but in those times that we have made decisions that could be purely attributed to our own will, thoughts, discernment, and evaluation...we could always say and tell ourselves...you blew it!!!you just blew it...and it has exploded in your face...but it is our resolve to make a stand that matters...We just could not hang on the status quo... subsequently we may have made mistakes along the way...but it was of my own doing...and volition...If somebody does catch us or break our fall...you could be in luck but...that is the best that they can do for you...but for us to muster the strength and will to slowly get up on our hands and knees and to slowly stand up again and get our balance back is all up to us...during all of these confusing times it will be happy to know that again these will all come to pass...that's why I always love tomorrows because it begets hope...and that's why God has created tomorrow...Tomorrow's purpose is clear... there's always a brand new day ahead...and everybody gets another second chance...all over again...all over the world...

Let's switchGender!!!

A man was sick and tired of going to work every day while his wife stayed home. He wanted her to see what he went through so he prayed:

"Dear Lord:

I go to work every day and put in eight hours while my wife merely stays at home. I want her to know what I go through, so please allow her body to switch with mine for a day. Amen."

God, in His infinite wisdom, granted the man's wish. The next morning, sure enough, the man awoke as a woman. He arose, cooked breakfast for his mate, awakened the kids, set out their school clothes, fed them breakfast, packed their lunches, drove them to school, came home and picked up the dry cleaning, took it to the cleaners and stopped at the bank to make a deposit, went grocery shopping, then drove home to put away the groceries, paid the bills and balanced the check book. He cleaned the cat's litter box and bathed the dog.

Then it was already 1 p.m. and he hurried to make the beds, do the laundry, vacuum, dust, and sweep and mop the kitchen floor. Ran to the school to pick up the kids and got into an argument with them on the way home. Set out milk and cookies and got the kids organized to do their homework, then set up the ironing board and watched TV while he did the ironing. At 4:30 he began peeling potatoes and washing vegetables for salad, breaded the pork chops and snapped fresh beans for supper. After supper, he cleaned the kitchen, ran the dishwasher, folded laundry, bathed the kids, and put them to bed.

At 9 p.m. he was exhausted and, though his daily chores weren't finished, he went to bed where he was expected to make love which he managed to get through without complaint.

The next morning, he awoke and immediately knelt by the bed and said, "Lord, I don't know what I was thinking. I was so wrong to envy my wife's being able to stay home all day. Please, oh please, let us trade back."

The Lord, in His infinite wisdom, replied, "My son, I feel you have learned your lesson and I will be happy to change things back to the way they were. You'll just have to wait nine months, though. You got pregnant last night."

Be Good Even When Others are not...

Man by nature is Good...This is what we were being taught during our psychology class...There must be something that would interact with the person that would make that person do something bad...nobody was born or made to do bad...this is a classic tale of ambivalence when positive or negative forces are always involved...good vs. bad...happy vs. sad...during the course of our lives...how many times have we decided to do something bad rather than do something good!!!The satisfaction we get from both types of reactions will always reflect human nature...specially when we are provided with motives to do something bad such as revenge...hate...anger...rather than have motives that would make us to do good...forgiveness...love...altruism...helpfulness...
That challenge in life is always there... it is the greater challenge when we sacrifice our own weaknessess for the benefit of others...it is the greater task for us to try our very best to be Good even when others are not...even when other people are making it difficult for us...we have to do good...good deeds will overcome evil and bad deeds...it may seem that evil is winning the battle...but I believe that Good will eventually overrun those that are bad...

Somethings are better left alone

I could still remember during my college days when I was quite infatuated with a girl who was quite petite and cute and pretty...but not the crush ng bayan type... She had these long locks and dark brown eyes and was a very sexy lady... We had adjacent classrooms in school and we do meet each day at exactly 7:30 a.m. and I would always anticipate those times when I do see her…it really like that ...your heart skips a beat each time that I see her… The sweetness or thought of romance was in the air and in your mind...and how I held on to that great feeling of attraction to her…you dolike her...and that realization is like a slap on the face... I kept this as secret from my friends because I dreaded to be teased to death…I just wanted to admire her from afar and keep the special feeling to myself…Then it happened…in as much as I was trying to avoid meeting her and being introduced…we became friends…I started to get to know a lot of details about her as our friendship grew…her family…her hometown…her love life…her past …she had a child out of wedlock…her parents were separated…and other specific details only a close friend would be privy to…during the course of our closeness...somethings has change...then I started to lose that feeling…my infatuation…my admiration…as the realities of both our lives started to have a life of its own…my perceptions of her has been molded by the new information that I had on her…my expectations of all the niceties that I had previously imagined before we met was not really there anymore…until the day has come that I have realize I lost my crush on her…during those days after I have come to know her...I have dearly lamented and wish that some things are sometimes better left unknown…and that I could have still enjoyed my heavenly feelings for her even from the sidelines…but now the feeling has left me…they have gone away forever…so I have learned that If you want to keep that fire or desire burning in you…it would be better to have left it alone…

The one that Got Away

By: Mark J. Macapagal

In your life, you'll make note of a lot of people. Ones with whom you shared something special, ones who will always mean something. There's the one you first kissed, the one you first loved, the one you lost your virginity to, the one you put on a pedestal, the one you're with...and the one that got away.

Who is the one that got away? I guess it's that person with who everything was great, everything was perfect, but the timing was just wrong. There was no fault in the person, there was no flaw in the chemistry, but the cards just didn't fall the right way, I suppose.

I believe in the fact that ending up with someone, finding a longtime partner that is, does not lie merely in the other person. I can actually argue that an equal part, or maybe even the greater part, has to do with the matter of timing. It has to do with you being ready to settle down and commit to someone in a way that goes beyond the little niceties of giddy romance.

How often have you gone through it without even realizing it? When you're not ready to commit in that mature manner, it doesn't matter who you're with, it just doesn't work. Small problems become big; inconsequentials become dealbreakers simply because you're not ready and it shows. It's not that you and the person you're with are no good; it's just that it's not yet right, and little things become the flashpoint of that fact.

Then one day you're ready. You really are. And when this happens you'll be ready to settle down with someone. He or she may not be the most perfect, they might not be the brightest star of romance to ever have burned in your life, but it'll work because you're ready. It'll work because it's the right time and you'll make it work. And it'll make sense, it really will.

So that day comes when you're finally making sense of things, and you find yourself to be a different person. Things are different, your approach is different, you finally understand who you are and what you want, and you've become ready because the time has truly arrived. And mind you, there's no telling when this day will come. Hopefully you're single but you could be in a long-term relationship, you could be married with three kids, it doesn't matter. All you know is that you've changed, and for some reason, the one that got away, is the first person you think about.

You'll think about them because you'll wonder, "What if they were here today?" You'll wonder, "What if we were together now, with me as I am and not as I was?" That's what the one that got away is. The biggest "What if?" you'll have in your life.

If you're married, you'll just have to accept the fact that the one that got away, got away. Believe me, no matter how fairy tale you think your marriage is, this can happen to the best of us. But hopefully you're mature enough to realize that you're already with the one you're with and this is just another test of your commitment, one which will just strengthen your marriage when you get past it. Sure, you'll think about him/her every so often, but it's alright. It's never nice to live with a "might have been," but it happens.

Maybe the one that got away is the one who's already married. In which case it's the same thing. You just have to accept and know that your memories of that person will probably bring a nice little smile to your lips in the future when you're old and gray and reminiscing.

But if neither of that is the case, then it's different. What do you do if it's not yet too late? Simple...find him, find her. Because the very existence of a "one that got away" means that you'll always wonder, what if you got that one?

Ask him out to coffee, ask her out to a movie, it doesn't matter if you've dropped in from out of nowhere. You'd be surprised, you just might be "the one that got away" as well for the person who is your "the one that got away."

You might drop in from out of nowhere and it won't make a difference. If the timing is finally right, it'll all just fall into place somehow and you know, I'm thinking, it would be a great feeling, in the end, to be able to say to someone, "Hey you, you're the one that almost got away."

Keep on Keeping On....

It's another Sunday...and I have got to work on a lot of things...I had to clean the air conditioner...I had to do some cooking....a little bit busy doing a lot of things but while I'm trying my best to keep on being busy...I can't but feel the recent happenings and events that I have gone through in the past few weeks...my desire to change my job is still there...sometimes I would feel down thinking of it but I said to myself that Ijust have to keep on keeping on...and not to lose hope...someday things will happen...and things will go my way...I hope!!!!Somebody up there is supporting me...so not to worry that much...nor give in to anxiety...I have to pray more and harder...