I Miss My Mom

I lost my mom in 1982...she died in her sleep...many a person will tell you that such type of passing is reserved for the good at heart...It was a terrible loss for the family...She was 49 years old then...she died of a massive coronary failure (heart attack) during her sleep...I could still remember that day when we were just talking casually at the house...she even cooked our dinner during that fateful day...and before she went to sleep she would always ask me to massage her legs )specially the part of her legs that has varicose veins) and her arms...and at times during the day time she would always ask me to be her assistant at the kitchen when she cooks...I learned a lot of recipes from her that way...She's from Binalunan, Pangasinan, a true blooded Ilocana at that...I like the way she cooks fried fish in saluyot...and she also likes bagoong a lot...She came from a very poor family...I could remember when one time she told me that her family's subsistence at times is just salt and rice...which is why she always reminded us not to waste food...because when she was young they hardly had any...During the next morning we tried to wake her up...and we were staring to cry realizing that our mom was gone...but she just wouldn't wake up...we tried massaging her body but couldn't get a response...We called an ambulance that brought her to the hospital but she was declared DOA...My mother was not in the best of health...she had asthma attacks...she had a wide array of medical problems...she has had some kidney operations to get rid of gall/kidney stones...she has hypertension....and she has high blood pressure...I really couldn't say that that has nothing to do with raising six brothers...In her siesta time...she would ask us brothers (we were all boys) or would point out to a sibling that she wishes that her white hair be pulled out by tweezers which is making her head itchy until she sleeps...and at times she would ask us to massage her legs and varicose veins and us brothers would even push and shove which brother should do such tasks because none would volunteer...but always a brother would be left with the dreaded task...even when she would request us to fully massage her arms and legs..we would all slowly make our way out of the room but a brother would be caught to do these dreaded tasks...but now when I think about those times...I would always miss my mom...and I would not hesitate to volunteer to do these task now...but my mom is gone...and I would never get that chance ever again...so if your mom would be asking you to do such a request for her...absolutely go about it and don't think twice...you might never get to do that for her...in her life time...I still miss my mom...she was such a great mom to six brothers...each time when 2 brothers will have a fist fight...she would come between the brothers and give each brother a kitchen knife...saying "Well since you don't want to stop fighting...might as well kill each other in the process...if you don't love your brother"...then the fight would stop...then she would say..."I thought you wanted to kill each other...but I really don't think so...."She would then ask both brothers to embrace each other for an hour or so "asking them to sit down embracing each other and that's in front of a picture of our great chinese grandfather who had no hair (bald)...and bespeckled (rounded glasses just like John Lennon)...its the kind of picture that when you look at grandpa's eyes...he seems to be looking back at you...such an intimidating presence is made upon you just by looking at the said picture...I remember the time when my father had visa/immigration problems that he had to go back to H.K. to stay there for one year just to fix his papers...my mom was left on her own devices to take care of the six of us...Ina na...tatay pa...But She did well...during those times...She even raised hogs on the back yard just to augment the family's income to pay for our tuition fees in Sacred Heart School For Boys...I could still remember helping my mom feed and clean the hogs for a period of 3 months until they were ready to be sold to the market...She was a fighter...She also went to operate a small carenderia...that caters to the employees of the company my dad was working for...my mom was always seeking ways to make our eductation and life better...but even just by playing her role as a plain housewife she tried to do her very best and that has taken its toll on her body...Our Parents would always want the best for their children...and what can we as children give them back?...This reminds me of a declamation contest That I joined at the instance of my class advisor...during my high school years at Sacred Heart School For Boys...My class advisor was so good in providing me the training and motivation for this activity that I truly beleive I was the clear winner...I practice every day for two months and when the day of the competition arrived I brought my father and mother to school to watch my performance (they were beaming in delight that their son was a contestant...they must have thought at least they were not being ask to come to the school because I didn something bad!!!)...the declamation contest was in English but both my father and mother are illiterate (meaning no read and no write)so I guess they really couldn't understand a word that was spoken at the audio-visual room (AVR) where six contestants tried their best to give their interpretation of their declamation piece...my piece was entitled "The Good Thief"...well...I only came in at third...I didn't win the competition...I wanted so much to win that I did cried hard after losing...and after the activity...I went to approach my parents and my dad said "You were very Good Son"...but I told them not that good because I didn't win...my mom told me...You are wrong!!!The moment that you took to stand up in that stage and finish your speech...you have already won!!! MOms will always be like that...I never did thank you for that...it stopped my tears for blaming myself for the loss...All my Love Mommy where ever you are!!!