My First day at Work 2006

It was quite a long vacation but no matter how long it feels from December 24-Jan. 1, 2006 it always feels so short as if time is so short...I spent it all with my family and I wanted to take a break by going to the provinces but I again decided to put it off...I guess i'm just too burned out to psych myself up and report to work...its my eighth (8th) year on this same job...and I feel Lost....I have made up my mind last March 2005....That I was going to get myself a new job...At first I really did thought that I wanted to keep my present job until I would retire with this company....but recent events have overtaken me and I have given up, First I thought management was willing ti change...but then again I was fooled to believe that is so ... I have lost faith in my boss...my company...its management....it is painful to wake up one day that after all the years I have spent on my company...one comes face to face with reality that...I no longer feel that I belong to the organization... I no longer want to exert more effort on my job...I have lost my zest ...no fires are burning inside me...as part of management...I cannot be a part of something I have lost faith in....i'm dead on the water....